Learning from Mistakes: A Dad’s Story of a Challenging Day with His Toddler

You ever feel like a shitty parent? I know there are times when I do. I had the worst day the other week. My wife, Beth, had a bad migraine – blinding bad – so I took the day off work to watch our son, Corbyn, and I decided to get stuff done around the house. We needed to run to Costco and that seemed like the perfect thing to do to get us out of the house.

Wrong. Boy was I wrong. Our backdoor has three small steps. Corbyn always waits for us because he needs to hold our hand to get down. But today, Corbyn decided to try and walk down the stairs himself. I was locking the door and he went for it. He made the first two steps, but the last one got him. Corbyn fell. Thankfully he put his hands out and said that he was “okay” when I asked. I put the stuff in my hands down and picked Corbyn up. Thankfully, no cuts or tears. Corbyn played in his toy car while I loaded the car up.

That’s when the real trouble started. Corbyn didn’t want to get out of his toy car to go to Costco. I talked with him about how we needed to go and asked him to please get out of his car, but by now my fuse was short. That’s when I did something I regret, I said “I don’t have time for this” and grabbed him out of his car. Corbyn was crying – I didn’t hurt him but man did I upset him. I felt like shit and I was embarrassed.

But I got Corbyn in the car and buckled up. I apologized to him. I think apologizing to your kids – to anyone really – when you’ve done something wrong is important. I let down my son, my wife, and myself.

As Corbyn and I drove to the store, I calmed down and so did Corbyn. Beth texted me a reassuring message. I told Corbyn that I was sorry for pulling him out of his car and asked him if he wanted to help at Costco. He said, in his loud toddler voice, “Yeah!” and we went into the store with a new attitude.

I guess my point here is that we all have hard moments as parents. It’s completely normal to get frustrated, upset, cry, and do something stupid. But it’s important to learn from those moments. Reflect, apologize, and move forward. Lately, I’ve been working on breathing with Corbyn when he gets frustrated. Not only does it help him (don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t work every time), but it helps me calm down too. Our kids learn from us. We’re all human.

The Burly Dad

P.S. This is us at Costco that day :)